Do you often feel like you need to constantly keep pushing yourself, and never deserve a break? When last did you let yourself actually stop and rest without feeling guilty for doing so? What are the basic steps to managing and overcoming high-functioning anxiety?
In this podcast episode, Lisa Lewis speaks about silencing the inner critic and overcoming imposter syndrome with expert Tatiana Garcia.
Meet Tati Garcia
Tati Garcia is a Licensed Professional Counselor and coach specializing in high-functioning anxiety and the host of the podcast Calmly Coping.
Her passion lies in guiding ambitious achievers to overcome anxiety and burnout so they can feel calmer from within and stop overthinking everything.
Tati has thousands of hours of experience helping clients and uses evidence-based approaches including mindfulness, self-compassion, and positive psychology to help high-achievers make improvements in their mindset, self-care, and work-life balance.
Three pillars to managing and overcoming high-functioning anxiety
The best mindset shift
What is high-functioning anxiety?
What is high-functioning anxiety?
Common anxiety symptoms can lead people to avoid certain things, distract themselves, or disengage with the life around them.
However, high-functioning anxiety has a different effect where it can push people to do the things that they are scared to do, but not in a good way either.
So a person with high-functioning anxiety may look like they are successful, organized, and prepared, but on the inside they are only overperforming because they are completely stressed out and scared.
Their actions are not coming from a place of peace or calm but from a maladaptive attempt to soothe themselves and try to feel in control.
Assessing how you got to this point
It often happens with anxiety, stress, and panic that we feel that it has come out of nowhere, but often it hasn’t. Often for some people, their stress or anxiety has been building for so long that they get used to it, even though they are unhappy.
They begin to feel comfortable with feeling like they are in control through their anxious attempts, even though in reality they are not.
So, assess how you got to this place, and what is keeping you stuck within this pattern. It can be a mixture of internal and external factors.
Consider working with a therapist to unwind external from internal factors, and start making positive changes in your life so that you can authentically slow down and speed up when you want to and need to throughout life.
Balancing high achievement with self-care
One of the first things you need to do is to:
Connect with your values and what is deeply important to you
Be clear on the life that you want to live based on these values
Begin to set up a few minutes a day or a week to start practicing these habits that will lead you to the life that you want to live
Start practicing discernment to know when you stop and when to keep going because there will always be more things you have to do, so learn when enough is enough to allow yourself to rest before trying again
Three pillars to managing and overcoming high-functioning anxiety
1 – Calm: return to yourself and achieve a sense of what is at the root of keeping you stuck in the anxiety, and you do this by acknowledging and getting to know your emotions.
2 – Balance: manage your energy by recognizing that we all go through seasons of busyness and stillness throughout the weeks and months.
3 – Confidence: feeling confident and content within yourself, and increasing your self-worth so that it is not dependent on how productive you are or how much you have achieved.
The best mindset shift
The best mindset shift that Tatiana encourages you to think about is; “You are exactly where you need to be”.
When you think and believe that you are where you need to be, then so much anxiety about where you should be just simply vanishes, and this is because you know that since you are where you need to be now, you will get to where you need to – and want to – go.
So you’ve been told that you’re “too sensitive” and perhaps you replay situations in your head. Wondering if you said something wrong? You’re like a sponge, taking in every word, reading all situations. Internalizing different energies, but you’re not sure what to do with all of this information. You’re also not the only one asking yourself, “am I ok?” Lisa Lewis is here to tell you, “It’s totally ok to feel this way.”
Join Lisa, a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, as she hosts her, Am I Ok? Podcast. With over 20 years of education, training, and life experience, she specializes in helping individuals with issues related to being an empath and a highly sensitive person.
Society, and possibly your own experiences, may have turned your thinking of yourself as being a highly sensitive person into something negative. Yet, in reality, it is something that you can – and should – take ownership of. It’s the sixth sense to fully embrace, which you can harness to make positive changes in your life and in the lives of others.
This may all sound somewhat abstract, but on the Am I Ok? Podcast, Lisa shares practical tips and advice you can easily apply to your own life. Lisa has worked with adults from various backgrounds and different kinds of empaths, and she’s excited to help you better connect with yourself. Are you ready to start your journey?
Podcast Transcription
Lisa Lewis 00:00:00 Sensitive in nature is part of the practice of the Practice Network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you market and grow your business and yourself. To her other podcasts, like the Impact Driven Leader podcast and Behind the Bite Podcast, go to practice of the practice. Com forward slash network. Welcome to Sensitive in Nature. The podcast invites you to explore the profound connection between highly sensitive people and the natural world. I’m your host, Lisa Lewis, and I’m thrilled to embark on this journey with you. In each episode will delve into the unique experiences, challenges, and gifts of being highly sensitive while discovering how nature serves as a sanctuary for those who feel deeply, we’ll hear stories from individuals who have found solace, strength and inspiration in the embrace of the natural world. So if you’re someone who feels a deep kinship with nature, or if you’re curious about the transformative power it holds for highly sensitive people, you’re in the right place. Let’s embark on this journey together, and may it lead us to a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
Lisa Lewis 00:01:35 Welcome to Sensitive in Nature, the podcast that explores the delicate balance between ambition and inner peace. I’m your host, Lisa Lewis, and today we have an incredible, insightful episode lined up for you. Joining us is Tatiana Garcia, a licensed professional counselor and coach specializing in high functioning anxiety. Tatiana is also the host of the Calmly Coping podcast, where she shares her expertise on managing anxiety and burnout. Tatiana’s passion lies in guiding ambitious achievers to stop putting themselves last and start overcoming anxiety and burnout with thousands of hours of experience. She uses evidence based approaches including mindfulness, self-compassion and positive psychology to help high achievers improve their mindset, self-care and work life balance. Today, we’ll be diving into a topic that resonates with many of us as highly sensitive persons, silencing the inner critic and overcoming imposter syndrome for high achievers. Tatiana will share her valuable insights and practical tips on how to navigate these challenges and find a calmer, more confident you. So sit back, relax, and let’s get started. Welcome to the show, Tatiana.
Tatiana Garcia 00:03:02 Thank you so much for having me. I’m excited to be here.
Lisa Lewis 00:03:05 Yes, I’m excited to have you here, too. I have so many questions. because I resonate with this topic of, especially as a highly sensitive person, being a high achiever and not always feeling that other people, appreciated that. But before we get into that, let’s just find out. do you identify as being a highly sensitive person?
Tatiana Garcia 00:03:34 Yes, I do, and this was something that I didn’t even know about until I read the book Highly Sensitive Person. And I think I initially read the book quiet, which kind of got me into the realm of like, introversion and then into being highly sensitive. But I can definitely identify With kind of the the depth of processing, with feeling overwhelmed if there’s a lot going on. just like not just sensory wise, but also just like mentally, and in the environment. So it’s something that I definitely identify with.
Lisa Lewis 00:04:16 Yes. And that was my way into HSP two was, first reading that book quiet and then Doctor Elaine Aron’s book.
Lisa Lewis 00:04:26 highly sensitive person. so what what led you as a licensed professional counselor and coach? What led you into this special ability into working with high functioning anxiety?
Tatiana Garcia 00:04:43 So I kind of through my training as a therapist, when I first went into my first position, After I got my master’s degree, I found that I was in this place of experiencing a lot of imposter syndrome. Like you mentioned, feeling like, what am I doing? Really putting a lot of pressure on myself and overthinking things and feeling really anxious and kind of battling all of the things that were going on internally while presenting this image of, all right, I know what I’m doing. I have it all together on the outside, and people around me may not have even noticed what was going on, because it was such kind of a contrast from what I was portraying to others. And then it wasn’t until a few years later where in my previous job, I kind of reached a point of burnout from putting so much pressure on myself and from Having so much on my plate.
Tatiana Garcia 00:05:54 And I think ultimately just being in a job that wasn’t aligned with what it is that my needs are and what I’m passionate about, that I then made the shift to go into private practice and like looking back on my experience and doing my own inner work, and realized that this is something that is common for individuals who tend to be high achieving and tend to be ambitious, to be in this place of kind of feeling this intense pressure and worry and fear of failure and fear of dropping the ball, that then can result in either arriving to a place of burnout where you’re kind of physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted, and or just being in a place where you’re not fully taking care of your own needs and not recognizing how important it is to balance those needs for being high achieving, but with also taking care of yourself. And that kind of is what led me to start to become more passionate about helping that type of individual and then specializing in that, and then kind of discovering the term high functioning anxiety and really focusing on helping those kinds of individuals.
Lisa Lewis 00:07:19 Well, that was really well said. Thank you. And I can identify with everything that you said there and what is high functioning anxiety.
Tatiana Garcia 00:07:30 So essentially it is somebody who’s struggling with anxiety. But their anxiety is rather than cause anxiety a lot of times can hold us back in avoidance. You know, somebody who has a phobia or somebody who is maybe socially anxious. They might tend to avoid social interactions, things like that. But with high functioning anxiety, the anxiety actually propels you forward into doing more and into often. I like to call it overdoing. So like overthinking things, over planning, over preparing because there is such a strong fear of failure, there is such a strong fear of maybe judgment or of dropping the ball or you know, what could go wrong if you don’t continue to push yourself harder. So it’s often somebody who appears to be doing really well and is successful on the outside, but it is being driven by this kind of inner turmoil and constant worry.
Lisa Lewis 00:08:35 And as a somatic coach myself, what would that look like or feel like in the body, this high anxiety?
Tatiana Garcia 00:08:43 Yeah, that’s a great question.
Tatiana Garcia 00:08:44 So a lot of times it is physical tension, like shoulders up to your ears, tightness in your muscles, you know, a rapid heart rate. It could look like difficulty with taking a deep breath. Or maybe even if you’re experiencing panic, like, kind of that hyperventilation, digestive issues is something that happens a lot, especially with anxiety. and, you know, it can also look like headaches or dizziness or numbness or tingling, other kind of symptoms that tend to go along with like anxiety and panic.
Lisa Lewis 00:09:26 okay. And what is your first step that you do when you work with someone that comes to you to see that, to see you for this.
Tatiana Garcia 00:09:35 So I tend to get a sense of their background, essentially what got them to this place. And many times. Of course, it is a combination of different factors. It could be past experiences in childhood. You know, maybe there are somebody who tends to just be hard on themselves, but a lot of times it can also come from pressure from outside sources.
Tatiana Garcia 00:10:05 So maybe that is, you know, parents being really hard on you or teachers or coaches. and a lot of times when clients come to me, it is often because of, let’s say, a stressful work environment that is just kind of exacerbating the inner, those kind of like inner personality traits that they tend to have to be high achieving. So it could be that maybe they are feeling really emotionally tied to work and it’s taking a toll on them, or they’re having difficulty disconnecting and setting boundaries. So the first step is generally just assessing what got you here and what is keeping you stuck in this pattern. You know, it can be external factors, but of course with the work that I do with clients, it is also looking at the internal factors and understanding more about just your emotions, general emotional awareness and regulation, understanding if there are any fears or guilt that’s at the root of these kinds of behaviors that’s keeping you stuck here. So then we can help you to get out and determine does this mean that your circumstances need to change? Do you need to change your job or communicate your needs, or practice more self-care and doing that inner work helps to kind of lay that groundwork to make those other external changes.
Lisa Lewis 00:11:50 Yes. Wow. There’s a lot going on there. And I, I also hear in that, perfectionism as like high achiever. And I can relate to that myself. And I’ve, I feel like I’ve given up, some of that perfectionism, but also working with people that come in with anxiety and then discovering that they they want to do everything 100% or above, and something’s got to give, or they just come in at that breaking point where if something doesn’t gather, they will break. And we don’t, you know, want that to happen. Of course.
Tatiana Garcia 00:12:32 Yeah, absolutely. Perfectionism is something that’s common in individuals who are who are high achieving and, and have like you’re saying, it’s it’s not that they’re just reaching for 100%, but it’s like everything needs to go above and beyond. And that becomes kind of like the bare minimum in their minds. Yeah. And it’s often unsustainable.
Lisa Lewis 00:12:54 Yes. For sure. And also I want to look at the other side of this because the other side of this there is I think a positive aspect where like, I don’t I’m not to condone or condemn someone who is a high achiever.
Lisa Lewis 00:13:14 And when you’re in when you’re around like minded people who also are high achievers, it’s it can feel so good. And that synergy, that’s what creates, you know, change, for good in the world and new ideas are created. Can you say, more about that?
Tatiana Garcia 00:13:36 Yeah, I think that there can be there? Absolutely. Is that positive side to being somebody who is high achieving? And it can be this, like you’re saying this the synergy, this kind of shared ambition to put the work in and to work towards the things that matter to you. And I think I like to kind of remember that it’s all about maintaining a balance, because the same way that our body maintains what’s called homeostasis to, you know, maintain our body temperature and the other things that help us to function properly, we need to have a balance between ambition and achievement and rest and recovery, because at the end of the day, you know, we we all have our limitations. We all need to rest and recharge.
Tatiana Garcia 00:14:40 And I think for somebody who is ambitious, there can be a lot of guilt associated with that or a lot of criticism and feeling like you need to earn rest or feeling as though you need to constantly be productive. So what I like to help my clients with is essentially magnifying those strengths and being more authentic to themselves when it comes to the desire for achievement and ambition, while also being sure to respect their needs for rest and recovery.
Lisa Lewis 00:15:19 And how can high achievers prioritize self-care without feeling guilty?
Tatiana Garcia 00:15:25 That could be a tough one. And I think it’s about reframing the way that they view rest, because I think a lot of times rest is something. And this isn’t just in high achievers. I think this is a society at large that we view rest as being lazy, and we kind of connect our worth to how much we are getting done. And this can become challenging because then we can reach a point where we start to feel frustrated, we start to feel stressed and even resentful when you’re not taking the time for rest.
Tatiana Garcia 00:16:07 So addressing that guilt associated with rest starts with acknowledging it and acknowledging that oftentimes it’s something that you have learned and it’s something that you can unlearn. And kind of assessing, is this helping me, you know, is the guilt that you’re experiencing regarding rest actually helping you in any way? Or is it something that is actually making it more difficult for you to just acknowledge and address your very human and normal needs.
Lisa Lewis 00:16:43 Yes. Yes. And what I find with anxiety is, And I think I felt like this, when I was younger, that it was hard for me. And I see working with clients, having idle time or free time creates anxiety and not having something scheduled so that that need to rest can be really hard. having anxiety. And also it feels good to rest. And I’ve really learned like, I can’t I feel like I can’t get enough rest now, and I just crave resting. And I don’t mean like, sleeping. I mean sleeping is part of it, but just resting my body and not having something to do or somewhere to go, just kind of just being with myself or being out in nature.
Tatiana Garcia 00:17:39 Yeah I definitely hear you. And that’s something that I’ve experienced the switch as well. And I think that I should say a shift because it’s not necessarily like an on off switch that happens. But I think when it comes to rest and what you said is absolutely true. Something that can prevent somebody who’s experiencing anxiety and overthinking from rest is that when they do stop or slow down, that’s when all their thoughts start to become louder. That’s when they become confronted with all the things that they’re probably avoiding or pushing away by staying busy. So it becomes something that’s cyclical, that, you know, your busyness can then create more of this inner turmoil. But then when it’s time to rest, you don’t want to face it because it feels too overwhelming, it feels too uncomfortable. So then you stay busy as a way of avoiding it. And ultimately, you know, we need to face the these uncomfortable emotions and thoughts in order to master them in order to turn down the volume. And so it can feel uncomfortable at first, because when you’re actually taking time for rest in whatever way that looks like, oftentimes all of those scary thoughts and feelings are coming to the surface, but only in acknowledging them and being with them can you actually teach yourself that you can handle this, and then as a result, those thoughts and feelings will not be controlling you as much as they had been before when you were just in this kind of like automatic cycle of needing to always Avoid by being busy.
Lisa Lewis 00:19:34 Yeah. And I hear a big, like sigh of relief and they’re like, And now I can rest and relax and and let my breath, flow easily.
Tatiana Garcia 00:19:47 Yep.
Lisa Lewis 00:19:49 And how can high achieving individuals balance their careers and ambitions with their personal lives and self-care?
Tatiana Garcia 00:19:57 Yeah, that is an excellent question. I think it’s about first connecting with what your personal values are and what is important to you, because that is a big piece of living a life that is personally going to be fulfilling for you. And a lot of times we might know, okay, well, you know, it’s important for me to spend time with my loved ones or do things that I enjoy. But we can sometimes continue to get trapped in these patterns of overworking and doing more because it feels like there’s more urgency connected to those kinds of things. but when you can really connect with the things that you value and then kind of use those as Guideposts for the decisions that you’re making in your day to day and assessing, okay, let’s say, comes to the end of the workday.
Tatiana Garcia 00:20:56 And there’s a question of, okay, should I continue working on this? Because then I’ll feel more of a sense of relief, and I won’t have as much to do tomorrow, but I’m really tired and drained after a long day. Or do I want to call it a day and spend quality time with my family? And then I can address this with a fresh mind tomorrow? When you’ve identified what your values are, that can kind of give you that guidepost to get a sense of what direction you want to go in that moment, because at the end of the day, we all are only individually one person, and there’s only so much we can do with the time that we have. There’s always going to be more work, there’s always going to be more on the to do list and more responsibilities. And it’s about assessing for you what is the most important. And I think that, you know, when we can be more intentional with the way we spend our time at work, then that can help you to, you know, when you can be more focused and have more of a, you know, not saying I mean, obviously people who are high achieving tend to be the ones that are planning and and being focused, but sometimes your emotions can hijack that.
Tatiana Garcia 00:22:18 So when you can spend your time and connect that with your values, that can sometimes be helpful to give you a sense of, like how to balance your time.
Lisa Lewis 00:22:33 Yeah, I, I’ll share a personal experience. about that, balancing career and, family. And so, I went back to school to get my masters. This is my second career as a licensed therapist. when my kids were in, in, like, elementary school, and I waited, I wanted to make sure that they were at least in elementary school and went back to school. not realizing the amount of time I’d have to commit to school because of the commitment to, you know, work, doing papers and all of that. So I was balancing that. going back to school, family, getting my kids to, you know, their designated things that they were doing. And it was really hard. And, you know, I think everyone, you know, got less of me, including myself. And, I if I were to do it again, I don’t think I would do it that way because it was kind of like crazy making.
Lisa Lewis 00:23:42 And I think it’s also part of this, like who I am, my personality and that high achieving because I was also getting something out of it for me personally, that I wasn’t getting fulfilled in other ways in my life. So just having that balance and also feeling that you can also pay a high price for that, because they my family didn’t get as much as me, I think, as they needed, especially during that time in their life.
Tatiana Garcia 00:24:12 Yeah. So it sounds like you definitely had a lot going on at once. And I think that that can very well be the case. I like to think of it as having kind of seasons, you know, because it can absolutely be the case where we have seasons, periods of time of life, where things are super busy and we’re just not able to provide that attention and care that we would like to to others, but also not even to ourselves. And, you know, with what you’re sharing. I think even like if whether it’s somebody returning to school or maybe a busy period in business, rather than having this ideal kind of idea of or having perfect balance because that’s non-existence.
Tatiana Garcia 00:25:03 I like to see it as okay, if we’re having a period of time where things are busier, can can we practice that self-compassion and understand that this is what I’m choosing to focus on right now, and I’m going to be limited in my capacity to provide the care and attention that I previously have been able to and acknowledging that that’s that’s the situation for now. And is it possible to follow that up with a period of recovery for, you know, as long as you’re able to obviously everybody’s situation is going to be different. You know, when you have school, luckily it’s kind of broken up into semesters. So maybe there’s like a summer period where you can slow down a little bit and rest and recover and also communicate that to your loved ones. You know, maybe depending on how young your kids are, they may not fully understand that. But I think if we’re able to be understanding with ourselves that we’re not always going to be able to give 100% to everything, but then kind of balance that the same way that the seasons go, you know, where in winter people tend to kind of slow down and go inward.
Tatiana Garcia 00:26:23 you know, and I shouldn’t. Maybe people. We don’t necessarily. We’ve gotten more disconnected from the seasons, but, like, the way that just in nature things go where in summer tends to be more happening, more activity. And, you know, can we kind of follow those seasons ourselves? Doesn’t necessarily have to be on the exact timeline, but just according to the way that things can sometimes happen in our lives.
Lisa Lewis 00:26:50 Yeah, I love that Tatiana and I love this, the description of the seasons. And I think I agree with you that we have, kind of lost that ebb and flow of the seasons where we’re more active at certain times of the year, and we go inward for a good reason. And I would love like I try to go back to that. That’s what my goal is, as I’m aging in life. So, I want to ask you, what are the three pillars to managing and overcoming high functioning anxiety.
Tatiana Garcia 00:27:26 Yeah. So the three pillars that I’ve identified are calm, and that is basically returning to yourself and getting a sense of what is at the root of what’s keeping you in this place of anxiety and urgency and frenzy.
Tatiana Garcia 00:27:47 And that looks like understanding your emotions, acknowledging your fears, and recognizing the limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck in these patterns, then that, you know, once you’ve done those things and achieved more of a sense of of inner calm that can set you up to for the second pillar, which is balance. And that balance looks like managing your energy, recognizing that we all go through, not even just within the seasons, but within the week or, you know, within the month or the day. We all go through ebbs and flows when it comes to our energy and our focus and learning how to balance those needs for pushing forward and recharging, and also how to set boundaries within those responsibilities so that you’re not constantly feeling on and like you need to be thinking about and ruminating over your to do lists in the middle of the night. But you’re able to set time boundaries, but also mental boundaries so that you can leave work at the door and then be fully present for the people and the things that you love.
Tatiana Garcia 00:29:08 And then the third pillar is confidence. And this connects to feeling confident from within, increasing your self worth, so that your worth is not dependent upon how productive you are or how much you’re achieving. Because this is something that I find happens a lot with individuals who are high achieving, where that achievement can become like a badge of honor. It can be. It can become the way that we view ourselves, our identity, and that can often set you up for being on this incessant hamster wheel of constantly doing more, but never really feeling like you’ve arrived, never feeling fulfilled, or as though you’ve accomplished something because there’s always the next thing. And this looks like practicing more self-compassion, so you can be kind to yourself and acknowledge all of the things that you’ve already done, but also all of the strengths that you have, and fully accepting yourself authentically as you are, so that you don’t need to derive your worth from all of these external things, and then also at the same time, this allows you to feel more confident taking risks and showing up as yourself, because there’s not as much associated with this fear of making mistakes or failure that you might have previously experienced.
Speaker 3 00:30:47 Oh.
Lisa Lewis 00:30:48 That was beautiful. It sounds to me as as I was listening to you, like this spiritual path to healing. Your three pillars. I mean, I really hear that as you know, this is, this is it, this is we, you know, we kind of go through life when we, we assess and reassess maybe where we made not so good choices or went on a path that didn’t really work out for us, and how we can have that self-compassion and then build that self-worth that we don’t have to identify with. Our job is who we are, but who who are we without our job? Who are we just as a person that is just existing in this world?
Tatiana Garcia 00:31:33 Yeah, exactly. And I think that can be a powerful journey to take at any point, whether you’re somebody who is in school, whether you’re just starting your career, whether you are at a midpoint or maybe even making a career shift. And I’ve also worked with many clients who are actually in the phase of adjusting into or going into retirement.
Tatiana Garcia 00:32:00 And that is also a big identity change that that I’ve noticed that a lot of high achieving individuals can struggle with of, you know, all right, I’ve been somebody this has been my identity for most of my life. And now I’m kind of this shifting into this new phase of life. What now.
Lisa Lewis 00:32:19 And so off of that. What is one mindset shift that a high achiever, whether they’re still working or retiring or are retired. What, what what is one mindset shift that they can make right now.
Tatiana Garcia 00:32:37 I think that a big mindset shift can be acknowledging this idea that you are exactly where you need to be. A lot of times there can be this constant drive for, well, what’s next? Or I need to do this or I’m not doing enough or you know, there’s something wrong. I’m being too lazy right now. All of this inner criticism that can really just serve to like we think that it’s helping to motivate us and give us more discipline, but really, it’s often just keeping us stuck and making you feel worse.
Tatiana Garcia 00:33:22 So if you can acknowledge this idea that you’re exactly where you need to be, it’s this kind of paradoxical acceptance of where you are. That then allows you to move forward with more, more fulfillment. You know, more recognizing that you’re not doing something wrong, like less of a sense of shame and more of a sense of accepting yourself. Oh.
Lisa Lewis 00:33:52 I love that. Would you and would you agree that that would be like, so accepting where you are right now, like living in the present moment?
Tatiana Garcia 00:34:02 Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 00:34:03 Yeah.
Lisa Lewis 00:34:04 Me, myself. I tend to either be in the past or in the future, and then I have to stop myself and say, you’re no go, go. You’re right here. You’re right where you need to be, where you’re supposed to be and just appreciate what’s in front of you. So I do that a lot all day long.
Tatiana Garcia 00:34:26 Yeah. Same here. And I think that’s the thing. It’s not like this point where we ever arrive and we’re like, all right, I’m done.
Tatiana Garcia 00:34:33 I’m going to be present forever. You know, it’s a constant practice. It’s a constant reminding ourselves and bringing our attention back to now and recognizing that, you know, when our thoughts, whether they’re in the past or in the present, that inevitably can lead to a feelings of, you know, feeling anxious or feeling down or feeling stuck because those are things that we can’t really control right now. You know, if you’re thinking about something in the future, there’s all of the what ifs and so many different scenarios that our minds try to prepare us for. But really that preparation, mental preparation and overthinking often just makes us feel more anxious and ruminating over things in the past doesn’t change the past. It just kind of makes us feel regretful and just disappointed, potentially with the way things have gone, because our minds tend to focus on the negative when thinking about either one. Because as humans, we have a negativity bias that makes us more sensitive to the negative because that’s what’s helped us to survive. But oftentimes, survival is at odds with happiness and with fulfillment.
Tatiana Garcia 00:35:46 And ultimately, when we can recognize how our mind can sometimes make things feel harder, then that can help us to bring that focus back to the present.
Lisa Lewis 00:36:02 Yes, I so agree with that. And as a highly sensitive person, we are 20 to 30% of the population, and that’s part of our personality trait. We are the ones that are on the perimeter right in a in a pack. We are the ones that are looking out for the danger and, you know, wanting the the pack to survive. And so that high intensity of anxiety or feelings, emotions, we are wired for that. And it’s so uncomfortable. And so it’s like learning how to manage that and to slow down so you can breathe and it’s all going to be okay. And like you said, you’re right where you’re supposed to be.
Tatiana Garcia 00:36:47 Yeah, I love how you put that. And I think that’s an important piece. I talked to a lot about your thoughts and understanding your emotions, but that piece of just you had mentioned that you’re a somatic coach.
Tatiana Garcia 00:37:01 You know, a lot of being present involves being in our bodies And you know whether that is the cliched taking a deep breath or even if you notice, like I mentioned previously, the physical tension that tends to come up with anxiety and high functioning anxiety. Even if you can consciously relax and release any of that tension that’s coming up in your body, anything that you can do to communicate to your body that, okay, it’s okay to let go. It’s okay to to relax and release.
Lisa Lewis 00:37:37 Yeah. So, Tatiana, what is one thing that you would like listeners to take away from our conversation today?
Tatiana Garcia 00:37:45 Yeah. So I think that one thing would be to be the concept of of self-compassion. And I like to remember that, you know, you’re oftentimes especially somebody who is high achieving, you’re oftentimes doing much better than you’re giving yourself credit for, and practicing that muscle of acknowledging that and acknowledging the effort that you’re putting in, but also recognizing that you don’t need to earn or deserve relaxation. And it’s okay to take it easy.
Tatiana Garcia 00:38:28 It’s okay to slow down, and it’s okay to take care of yourself. And it’s actually not just okay, it’s it’s necessary.
Lisa Lewis 00:38:35 I love that. Yeah, it is necessary. And it’s like, please, please give that to yourself. Give that time and that space because you’ll feel so much better.
Tatiana Garcia 00:38:46 Exactly.
Lisa Lewis 00:38:47 And where can listeners find you.
Tatiana Garcia 00:38:50 So my website is Be Calm with Tati. Com and I also have a podcast where I speak about this exact topic. It’s called Calmly Coping. You can find it wherever you listen to podcasts also on YouTube, and you can also find me on Instagram and LinkedIn and Pinterest at Tatiana G, LPC.
Lisa Lewis 00:39:13 Oh great. Thank you for that. And that will all be in the show notes in case you missed it. Thank you so much for coming on the show today, Tatiana. It’s been so lovely to have you on. I just loved our conversation.
Tatiana Garcia 00:39:27 Yes. Thank you so much, Lisa. This was a great conversation and I really had a good time.
Lisa Lewis 00:39:34 That wraps up another enriching episode of Sensitive in Nature. I hope you found today’s conversation with Tatiana Garcia as enlightening and empowering as I did. Remember overcoming imposter syndrome and silencing that inner critic as a journey. And it’s okay to seek help along the way. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to check out Tatiana’s podcast, Calmly Coping for more tips and insights on managing anxiety and achieving a balanced life. And don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast Sensitive Nature so you can never miss an episode. Thank you for joining us today. Take a deep breath and embrace your inner calm and continue to nurture your sensitive nature. Until next time. I’m Lisa Lewis and this has been sensitive in nature. Stay well. Stay serene. Bye for now. Thank you for joining me on this episode of Sensitive in Nature. I hope you found inspiration and solace in our exploration of the profound connection between highly sensitive people and the natural world. If you enjoy today’s episode, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, or sharing it with someone who might find comfort and insight into our discussions.
Lisa Lewis 00:41:05 Your support means the world to me. Remember, you can always connect with me on social media or visit my website. Sensitive in nature. Com for additional resources and updates. Let’s continue this conversation and build a community where sensitivity is celebrated and nature is cherished as the ultimate healer. Until next time, take a moment to breathe and embrace the beauty around you and know that you are not alone in this journey. Maine Nature always be your sanctuary. This podcast is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regards to this subject matter covered. It is given with the understanding that neither the host, the publisher or the guest are rendering legal, accounting, clinical or any other professional information. If you want a professional, you should find one.