[LISA LEWIS] The Am I Ok? Podcast is part of the Practice of the Practice network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you market and grow your business and yourself. To hear other podcasts like Faith Fringes, the Holistic Counseling Podcast, and Beta Male Revolution, go to the website, www.practiceofthepractice.com/network. Welcome to the Am I Ok? Podcast, where you will discover that being highly sensitive is something to embrace and it’s actually a gift you bring to the world. We will learn together how to take ownership of your high sensitivity, so you can make positive changes in your life, in the lives of others, and it’s totally okay to feel this way. I’m your host, Lisa Lewis. I’m so glad you’re here for the journey. Welcome to today’s episode of the Am I Ok? Podcast. I’m your host, Lisa Lewis. Thank you so much for tuning in. I would like to remind my listeners that I offer a free eight-week email course titled Highly Sensitive People. My email course provides weekly tools that help you feel more whole in a world isn’t exactly made for us and I show you how your sensitivity can be seen as a unique gift and how many others are just like you. To find out more about my email course, please go to my website, amiokpodcast.com. Well, I’m back from vacation and I’m providing all of you a solo show today, woohoo. One thing that I’ve learned about myself while being on vacation is that I needed a vacation. I needed time off from work and most importantly, I learned that I needed just to slow down and enjoy life in the moment, or as we say the present moment. Can anyone relate to that? Coming back to work, I’m noticing a little resistance to wanting to jump back in full speed ahead. So guess what? This is today’s topic. It’s about how to slow down when the world around you is pushing you to go faster. Let’s jump right in. Over the years, as a highly sensitive person, I’ve learned that I need to slow down so I can be with my thoughts, listen to my body, then I will know how I want to proceed moving forward in life. I have lived most of my life until about the last five years or so, living very fast-paced, meeting all the demands for myself, my family work. If someone wanted something from me now or within a very short period of time, I would never say no or I need more time. I would always say yes, and this was especially true in work situations, so I didn’t want to let anyone down. I consider myself a high achiever, an overcoming people pleaser, I really didn’t want to say no, so I wouldn’t have to explain myself, give an explanation, have a confrontation or a situation, or the other person would tell me no wasn’t acceptable. I think unfortunately, I’ve paid a high price for that and I’ve been working on myself to recognize and change my habits, be kinder to myself and to others, and to understand that speed doesn’t exactly equate to quality and happiness. So let’s take a closer look, shall we? The world around us, at least to me, is revolving at a very highspeed. As a highly sensitive person, I’ve learned I need more time to process, to observe, take in what I’m noticing externally and internally to sit with it before I’m ready or even better yet, want to make a decision or proceed full steam ahead. For example, let’s say I go to an ice cream store to buy a cup of ice cream. It’s a hot summer day. I want something cool, refreshing and comforting to go with a perfect summer day. I haven’t been to the ice cream store in months, so just walking in there, the store is cool, it’s refreshing. I look over all the flavors before deciding which one is going to be the best choice for me at that moment. There are so many flavors to choose from and I like so many of them, but I just want that one perfect one. I want that one flavor to be just right. My friends who I’m with are getting really impatient because I’m taking so long. I feel their pressure, or maybe they’ve even told me to hurry up and now I’m getting anxious and I feel that knee jerk reaction of having to pick something really quick because I don’t want to get them even more upset or angry. I pick a flavor, place my order. Then I realize right afterwards, that’s not the flavor I really wanted. If I had more time, or the courage to say, “Hey, I’m not ready yet. You go ahead and order, I will be right along.” Are you getting the picture? We can then criticize ourselves for not making a quicker decision. Over time, friends, family, coworkers who don’t understand our trait as an HSP, let alone ourselves, they get tired of waiting, then stop asking us to go to the ice cream store, out to dinner, out to lunch, or to the movies. This can happen in work situations, relationships, really just about any situation in your life when we are pressured to make a quick decision as an HSP. Let’s look in another example of life pushing us to go faster when all we really want to do is slow down, pause and take a breath. Imagine you’re standing on a busy street corner in New York City waiting to cross the street. The stoplight is red. There’s a steady stream of cars whizzing by you and may feel uneasy just standing there on the corner, watching and feeling the energy of all the moving parts happening at one time. It may feel that everyone, everything is in a hurry with cars honking the horn, people crossing the street when a light is still red. If only I say to myself, if everyone would slow down, follow the speed limit, take their time, notice what is happening around them instead of being in such a hurry to get to the other side of the street or the next place. I don’t want to get caught up in the hurry mentality. I want to slow down before I cross the street, take a look at my surroundings, notice the sights, smells, sounds, and my own pace, not at the pace that a hurried life is pushing us into. So how do we slow down when the world around us is pushing us to go faster? We have to know our needs as a highly sensitive person. One need to know about yourself as an HSP is we need more time to make a simple or hard decision more so than the average person. The plus side of this is that HSPs like to think things through all the way through from the top to the bottom, bottom to the top, sideways, frontways, backwards, you name it. If you know an HSP or you are an HSP, you know what I’m talking about. When HSPs are ready to voice a decision that the decision has been thought out all the way through. HSPs do not randomly throw out any decisions. HSPs take things seriously, and sometimes I agree too seriously, but this is part of their innate trait, and we need this trait in the world. Remember, HSPs make up about 20 to 30% of the world’s population, and many of the leaders of the world are HSPs. They think things through all the way before they voice their opinion or decision. So when the HSP speaks up, make sure to listen because it’s going to be really good what they have to say. It’s going to be great. Another need is to notice any resistance inside yourself when life is pushing you too fast and to be able to voice it to yourself or others who it may affect. This is not about fixing anyone or anything. It’s about taking care of your need to voice that you are feeling rushed or resistant. And that’s okay to feel rushed or resistant. When you speak up and let others know how you are feeling, then others do not have to figure out what’s going on inside you. Doesn’t that feel good? Another need is to stay true to yourself, and I’m going to explain exactly what I mean by that. So for example, my need right now at this moment is I wish life would slow down for just a second so I can enjoy it as much as the average person. My nervous system likes to experience life at a much slower speed as an HSP than at the speed it is going at now. I want to acknowledge that wish to myself, so I’m not ignoring myself. I’m not ignoring what is true and not true to me, even if I can’t change it. Sometimes we don’t have the ability or we just can’t change something but if we say to ourselves, just acknowledge to ourselves, yes, I’m having a hard time with this. I don’t like it, or my nervous system is really agitated right now, just acknowledging that to yourself is just acknowledging something true for yourself. That’s what we want to do. So what happens when we slow down? We take a pause, take a breath. It allows the energy flowing inside of ourselves, just like the water that flows through a river to flow with ease. So for example, imagine a circular tube about, let’s say three inches in diameter that runs through your body from the crown of your head all the way down to your toes, and imagine water running through this tube inside your body from head to your toes to your head. We want to keep that tube flowing freely or like a river that is free of boulders, debris, logs, anything that might jam it up like a dam. Keep that water flowing just like a river. Keep it flowing just very easily and gently. Now, this information that I have provided is not just for HSPs. It can really be just about for anyone who wants to slow down when life is pushing you too fast. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I’m also trained in transpersonal energy healing and other trauma modalities and the modalities that I use. I think of regulating the nervous system to keep the flow within the body open and free of debris, which creates calm and ease in body, mind, and spirit. So let’s give ourselves permission as an HSP to slow down so we can enjoy and experience the natural flow of everyday life and body, mind, and spirit. Remember, when life around you is pushing you to go faster, remember these four steps, number one, HSPs need more time than the average person to make a decision. Take your time. Number two, notice the resistance inside yourself and voice it. Number three, stay true to yourself even though it may not be true to anyone around you. Number four, picture a flow or a stream of water running through your body that creates calm and ease within your body, mind, and spirit. Wishing you the best day every day. Thank you so much for listening. Please let me know what you thought of the episode. Send me an email to lisa@amiokpodcast.com. Remember to subscribe, rate and review wherever you get your podcast. To find out more about Highly Sensitive Persons, please visit my website at amiokpodcast.com. While you’re there, subscribe to my free eight-week email course to help you navigate your own sensitivities and to show you that it’s okay not to take up everyone else’s problems. This is Lisa Lewis reminding each and every one of you that you are okay. Until next time, be well. Thank you for listening today at Am I Ok? Podcast. If you are loving the show, please rate, review and subscribe to it on your favorite podcast platform. Also, if you’d like to learn how to manage situations as a highly sensitive person, discover your unique gift as a highly sensitive person, and learn how to be comfortable in your own skin, I offer a free eight-week email course called Highly Sensitive People. Just go to amiokpodcast.com to sign up. In addition, I love hearing from my listeners, drop me an email to let me know what is on your mind. You can reach me at lisa@amiokpodcast.com. This podcast is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regards to the subject matter covered. It is given with the understanding that neither the host, the publisher, or the guests are rendering legal, accounting, clinical, or any other professional information. If you want to professional, you should find one.