[LISA LEWIS] The Am I Ok? Podcast is part of the Practice of the Practice network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you market and grow your business and yourself. To hear other podcasts like Faith Fringes, the Holistic Counseling Podcast, and Beta Male Revolution, go to the website, www.practiceofthepractice.com/network. Welcome to the Am I Ok? Podcast, where you will discover that being highly sensitive is something to embrace and it’s actually a gift you bring to the world. We will learn together how to take ownership of your high sensitivity, so you can make positive changes in your life, in the lives of others, and it’s totally okay to feel this way. I’m your host, Lisa Lewis. I’m so glad you’re here for the journey. Happy January everyone. We are off and running in a brand new year and what better way to kick off 2023 than by balancing your masculine and feminine energy with different energy practices that remove the darkness within us to make room for your light to shine in all of its glory. Woohoo. My guest today is JJ Digeronimo. JJ is a two-time award-winning author who helps women raise their frequencies and empower their future impact through tried and tested strategies, mindfulness and energetic practices. Formerly a leading woman in the tech industry, she now passionately strives to help women gain more seats at more tables by sharing the key findings that have helped her and countless others illuminate a path forward. Featured in publications such as Forbes, the Wall Street Journal, and Thrive Global, JJ is a regularly an invited speaker for events and conferences. Her work includes three books, two podcasts, two global online communities, and in-person experiences. Welcome to the show, JJ. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Oh, thank you Lisa. I’m thrilled to be here, especially kicking off the new year. [LISA] I know. I can’t believe it’s 2023 already. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Oh, wow, what we have been through, right? It’s great to start a new year. [LISA] It sure is. It sure is. So, as I like to ask all my guests that come on the show, do you JJ consider yourself a highly sensitive person or not and if you do or you don’t, can you share a story about that? [JJ DIGERONIMO] Well, I definitely do, and honestly, it’s just come forward for me in the last few years, I didn’t really realize that I was a highly sensitive person. People had said to me before you’re so sensitive, you take everything so personally, why do you need so much alone time? And honestly, a couple years ago, probably 3, 4, 5 years ago, I didn’t know why either but after doing my own seeking and learning more about energy and alignment it came pretty clear pretty quickly that I take on the energy of other people unless I sort of protect myself and I have to create a lot of space to ground the energy so that I can move through life with a clearer vessel. [LISA] Oh, okay. I’ve heard that so many times by people that are highly sensitive, taking on the energy of others and when they learn about that, then they’re like, oh, now I get it, now I understand why I’m feeling the way I do. Then they start to change that so they can really feel better inside themselves, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Definitely. And giving themselves permission to recognizing that you do have to spend time channeling or grounding the energy. I don’t think I really knew anybody that would define themselves as highly sensitive before I started this work the last five years but had someone told me a little bit more about how you move through life, sort of taking on, feeling, moving people and their energies, it would’ve been a little bit easier, I think, for me to understand why I would be feeling just fine. Then all of a sudden I’d be so emotional or I would be feeling so frustrated. It was because the person next to me or too down for me was struggling through an issue. Even watching movies, I mean, oh my goodness, it’s really hard to watch a movie where people are struggling at any level. It really turns me into a tailspin. [LISA] I’m the same way too, especially hard for me. I can’t, I have to turn the channel or look away is when, if there’s an animal suffering. I even, though it could be in nature, it’s supposed to happen, I just can’t watch it. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Me either. My husband’s like, we cannot watch Disney movies for the rest of our lives. [LISA] Is your husband highly sensitive too? [JJ DIGERONIMO] No, definitely not, but my son is for sure. [LISA] So I’d love to chat with you about the 50 plus energy practices that you’ve visited over the five years and what you’ve discovered in those visits. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Yeah, I came to a point in my life where I had a lot of accomplishments, but I still was saying like, what is this all for? Is there more? Why am I not experiencing the joy I anticipated? And as life habit sent like, like a curve ball my way. I changed jobs, things in my personal life weren’t going that great and it seemed like I was experiencing a tarret card, if you know what tarret cards are from Oracle decks or tarret decks. I really just felt like I needed to better understand who I was. I had gone to the traditional methods previous to that point, and I was just eager for something else, like something different. So I actually started with tapping because that was the class that was available the day I really needed to just get away from my desk and do something different at a local energy center here in Ohio. So I started with tapping, which really opened the door to just my self-discovery on all different energy practices that I could find either in person or online, to really see like, what are they all about, what can they do for me, how can they help me sort of sidestep my own self-doubt and better aligned with positive, uplifting energy? [LISA] Oh, wow. Are you talking about EFT emotional freedom technique tapping or? [JJ DIGERONIMO] Yes, yes. My instructor Peggy here, yes, she is not only a teacher, but she also runs workshops for others that are looking to get their certifications. [LISA] Okay. I’m actually level one certified EFT, and I use that in my practice with clients, and especially when they’re — [JJ DIGERONIMO] Oh, it’s just really great. [LISA] It is great, especially when you’re triggered and it can just help take away that anxiety, panic, frustration, anger. What are some of the other key findings that you found during your — [JJ DIGERONIMO] Oh my goodness, I have 74 key findings. And I think choosing me was probably the hardest thing to do, especially I think women when we say yes to so many things in our lives, we often dilute activities and things that really fill us up, which I call fuel stations. Like we turn down things that used to make us feel so good. I think one of the biggest things is giving yourself time to explore your inner knowing and that’s key finding number 23, is if you give yourself time to explore your inner knowing, it’s a marvelous gift. But so many of us are taught from so early on to seek externally, get the zip code, get the purse, get the salary. And for some that may check the box, but for a lot of us, it’s only a short-term fix. [LISA] The key findings that you’re referring to, is this in one of your books? [JJ DIGERONIMO] Yes, this is my most recent book, Seeking: 74 Key Findings to Raise Your Energy, Sidestep Your Self-Doubts, and Align with Your Life’s Work. [LISA] Wow, oh my gosh, you got to go on 70, you got to explore for like 70 different energy practice, 74? Wow. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Oh, yes. I have a community now where I interview energy practitioners because I want to make it more accessible for women and men so they’re not Google searching, they’re not finding how do I find someone who does past life regression or iridology or human design or birth charts. All of these are tools for us to gain another layer of wisdom about ourselves so that we can really feel confident in why we are here. [LISA] I love that. I’m looking at your key finding 28. I was looking at your website last night and saw it, and I just, I think this is probably for me, like one of the most profound experiences, is a solo trip, going somewhere just by yourself to be with yourself. That can be a life changing and I’m wondering what that was like for you. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Yes, key finding number 28, a solo trip can provide the dedicated time you need to explore inside and out. For me, that was really an instrumental point in my life. It was my 40th birthday, I had an amazing job in Silicon Valley, but my whispers inside were pulling me each day to do something different, to explore, to seek. I was like, no, I’m on my path. I’m reaching my goals. But it was undeniable. One night I found myself working on a presentation after everyone was sleeping for the next day and I jumped over to Google looking for some solo trips or soul trips or soul awakening. I came across the place in Sedona called Sedona Soul Adventures and, just as quickly as I got on, I got off because the guilt of seeking in that way just is not something I was used to or really experienced before in my life, or knew anyone to do that. So it took me a couple weeks of constantly going back on and off the site to read a little bit more, which was amazing. But then I had to get permission, not because people around me wanted me to get permission, but I felt like I needed to ask for permission to go on a trip, spend our family money to go seek on my own because it was a nice investment. Even though I was making great money in technology, in my technology career, I still felt like I needed approval, not only from my husband, but also from my boss. I talk a lot in the book about what that felt like and how I moved through that and how much guilt I experienced in doing it, and even when I was there, like what the experience was. But it was really an awakening for me to validate that my inner whispers were driving me in another direction, even though it didn’t make sense and to my friends or family, why it would possibly leave my tech career, which was so fruitful and so exciting and so many amazing people. I just had such great work, but I was pulled to do other work while I was here on the planet. That solo trip was sort of a marker for me of starting down that path. [LISA] How come you think, and may, I think it’s more so for women than for men that there’s this huge guilt, and especially if you’re a parent, a mother, that we can’t put ourselves first. And we need to put ourselves first because if we don’t take care of ourselves, we’re just not going to be able to take care of anyone else. So we put everybody else first and then there’s this huge guilt when we want to do something for ourselves, even something alone that will cost money, but it will be such a benefit for us. I’m wondering like how many women like know that and don’t and don’t do anything about it. They just put it off to the side and just wait maybe until their kids are grown or there’s a different part in their life but if they were to embrace it right then in the moment and make it happen, how that may have changed their life, what do you think about that guilt? [JJ DIGERONIMO] Well, it is the underpinning through the whole book because I grew up with a mother that unfortunately is still waiting. I have aunts and family friends, and it is reality for many women. I think that has been passed on for generations as well as like being a mother. For those that choose to be a mother, I don’t know what happens, but when you leave that hospital, you put on this guilt backpack that I have yet to shake. Unfortunately, and many households mothers are single mothers or they don’t have the help that they need and they just run out of time every day. There’s just not enough time. Sometimes there’s not enough means, and it just becomes an idea that sometimes evaporates. [LISA] Yes. I work with, as a mental health professional, working with clients and explored this many, my clients said, just even if you don’t have the means or the time, even if you took an hour, two hours, but took that time for yourself by yourself, planned it ahead of time so you can make all the arrangements and even went to like a local park or went up into the mountains just for, I mean, even as a short period of time, can make a huge difference. [JJ DIGERONIMO] I couldn’t agree more. And honestly, that really is one of the biggest messages out of the book, is I show very various examples of how people make the time off the side of their desk and what are some of the biggest barriers that get in the way of people making this time. So not only do we have stories around money, but we have stories that we’ve carried as a child. We have dynamics in our lives that we’ve committed to different people and different circumstances that create additional layers of boundaries and potentially additional stories. So how do you maneuver through where you are right now to create the space for where you need to move into? It takes dedication and for me, I found a lot of value in meeting with all different types of people in person and online. Some were free, some were small amount, some were a big amount. I’m not expecting people to follow my path, but using the stories in the book, seeking to identify what they can do right now without any money, with a very little time, how can you create the space to understand the whispers that you’re feeling, seeing, experiencing, and how are you creating space for those to come to fruition? [LISA] I love that. I love that message. And key finding number 39, focus on the energy you exchange, can you share more about that? [JJ DIGERONIMO] Oh, so I didn’t think much about this. In my first book, The Working Woman’s GPS I had a person that was in my life at the time that I didn’t realize was a practicing polluter. Every time I was around this woman, she would just unload like every bad thing that had happened in the last three weeks to her. At first I felt so bad for her, but over time I started to recognize that that is how she’s used to showing up in the world and that she can choose to show up differently, but the response she gets and the way she connects with people, that’s where she feels most comfortable. So I think monitoring how you show up in the world, are you someone that leans more towards complaining and seeing half empty situations or are you someone that tips more towards abundance and gratitude? Because only you get to decide how you show up in the world. And frankly, you can only show up as one or the other. You either lean more towards the negativity of the world or you move lean more towards the gratitude and abundance. For me, I unfortunately was sort of brought up in like, oh, that nothing ever works out. We never have enough money, this isn’t working. I had to retrain myself to really lean more towards gratitude and abundance. That took a while for me to really intercept the way I talk to myself, what I said about other people in my head, what I said to other people out loud. I think for many of us, understanding where we show up on the spectrum of positive or negative and how does it show up in our life because we usually are mirrored back what we give to the world. So if you have a lot of people around you that you would say are negative or always focusing on the negative or can find negative in a lot of things, I hate to break it to you, but your frequency is probably very, very similar and you generally attract the frequency or energy where you’re at. In fact, I explained to many people that we are a frequency, so it was, some of us that are older that are used to listening to the radio station. FM is frequency modulation. So are you, is your frequency at a 92.3, 96.7 or 99.8? Where is your frequency and how do you maintain that frequency? Because often people can easily pull it down and up, but really being a master of your energy and the sphere of energy you sit within will act as an attractor to the energy you want to receive. [LISA] That’s beautiful how you just put that. I love that. I call the, as family conditioning, the patterns that we grew up with and the core police that we have about ourselves and then understanding as you mature and get older that those younger like defense patterns, defense mechanisms, core beliefs no longer serve you as an adult unless that’s when people show up in therapy going, well, how come I keep getting in the same relationship? Or how come this same thing keeps happening to me? There’s so many different ways to look at the situation, explain it, and that’s what I love about the different energy practices, finding a modality that works for you that you resonate with, whether that’s an energy practice, whether that’s a counselor, psychologist, a faith mentor, whatever works for you to help you if like break through and so you can live the life that you came here to live. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Yes. I think that’s what I really have learned through meeting with all these different energy practitioners is that you are in complete control of the energy you radiate. It’s only when you dig into how you talk to yourself or the stories you have on replay or the experiences and what you’ve taken from them, only to you dig into those stories and that inner conversation, are you able to really change or alter your exterior. [LISA] Yes. And how about key finding 46, all your relationships are spiritual. There is a purpose for each one of them. Wow, I can’t wait to hear about that. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Well, I’ll ask you before I get into it, what do you think about that? [LISA] I feel that yes, people come in and out of your life for a reason and that it’s very organic and that the people that come in and out of your life, like there’s something for you to learn about yourself or learning how to like, interact with other people. And some people that we need to keep in our lives and then some people we need to flush out. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Yeah, exactly. I feel the same way. I feel like everybody that is in your life is on purpose. Your biggest lessons in this lifetime come from the relationships you choose, the relationships you choose. Oftentimes, our parents bring us one of our biggest life lessons, sometimes a few and then of course, the spouses. In many circumstances, spouses or significant others are just an extension of relationship you’ve had with your parents. So identifying the patterns that you’re accepting and aligning with and understanding if they make sense for where you are now. As Gary Zukav says, in The Seat of the Soul, relationships come together for a purpose. They may be a short time or a long time, but only few people really get to that spiritual partnership where both people are aligning with a higher purpose. So if you are in relationships that aren’t really bringing out the best in you, I think it’s okay to start the new year really thinking about, are these relationships I want to continue to invest in this year or do I want to focus on my energy? Because generally when you focus on your energy, those relationships take care of themselves. In chapter 47, I talk about seasons and reasons, and there’s a woman that I met at one of these events, I was a keynote speaker, she came up and she was saying she started working on herself. Like the first month she started going the gym. The second month she started doing meditation. The third month she decided to straighten her teeth. The fourth month she got contacts and every month she just continued to invest in herself and as she invested in herself and her energy, her relationship dwindled at the same speed and pace. It just goes to show you, like you attract where you are in your life and so if there are people around you that are not bring out the best of you or maybe bring out the worst of you, the best place to start is on your energy, how you feel about yourself, what you say to yourself, and how you align to things that really fill you up. [LISA] I totally agree with all of that. I totally agree with all of that. It may, it sounds easier than it is just going through it personally myself, that when you’re changing things in your life and also changing things about yourself that it can be really hard. It’s not impossible, but just to know going in that it’s probably not going to be so easy, but it’s also worth it. [JJ DIGERONIMO] It is worth it. Most times, fortunately and unfortunately for women, we have to deal or experience the lesson of picking ourselves or prioritizing ourselves or even prioritizing our children. A lot of times that’s one of our biggest lessons. I see it happening over and over again and it’s really hard for women to do, including me. I feel like what I say to myself often is, this is good because, or this is the lesson I’m learning so that I realize that life is happening for me and not to me. [LISA] Yes. Just by what you said, I’m wondering, we can go back to, and if this is too personal, I understand, you don’t have to share at all, but I’m wondering, do you find you and your partner, your husband, do you feel like your, at that higher frequency in your relationship, you’re like at a spiritual level? [JJ DIGERONIMO] I don’t know. I feel like relationships, when you live with somebody, you have your great days where you really feel like you’re in lockstep, and then you have days where you feel like you don’t even know each other. So I don’t know. I am no expert. [LISA] Well, I’m asking because I wanted to know what that’s like. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Oh, you’re so funny. I just, I’m not an expert in relationships. I feel like everything is an inside job, like even your most significant relationship is a mirror of how you feel about yourself inside. So I feel like I would like to think some moments we are jiving and we’re really like stretching on a spiritual level of stretching each other to be the best versions of themselves but then we got to get the daily chores done, our kids got to get everywhere to go. He wants to travel, I need to travel. Like, so I feel like we have definitely moments of that sparkly experience of like, wow, we really have helped each other get to the next level. I feel like we have done that on many occasions. But we also have the everyday grind that all of us are dealing with, is just getting everything that needs to get done on the list and who’s doing more and less and who’s helping and who’s not, and all of that too. So I would not feel like authentic if I were to say, oh, yeah, because the reality is relationships are really hard, especially under the same roof. [LISA] Yes, yes. Even if you live with roommates and just living with people that you’re maybe not in a relationship can be very hard having a roommate, is we each, we get on other people’s nerves and they get on our nerves and it’s about learning how to live with other people. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Yes, but what I will say is, take a thought or maybe one of the things you can do as you start this new year is write down some of the major milestones in your life. Because one of the things that I think is so magical is I grew up in, around Buffalo, New York. I was supposed to go to a big school in New York, most people know of it and my dad was like, “I just can’t afford it. You can’t go to this school. I can’t afford it.” He told me like the spring of my senior year. So I went back to my guidance counselor that I feel like was one of my life guides and he helped plant me in a school in Ohio. The last weekend I was here in Ohio, because when I was told I was going, I was like, I should go to Ohio, in New York, you don’t even know where Ohio is. You’re like, “What? I live in New York, like, why would I go to Ohio?” But I love Ohio. I’ve been here over 20 years now. The last weekend I was at college, I met my husband, we met for a weekend, and then I moved to Atlanta and I was in Atlanta for seven years, working all over the world in my tech career. Seven years went by, I end up throwing a bachelorette party in Cleveland, I run into my husband. Four weeks later, I’m at a wedding, I run into him again. Little, the things kept happening and then we finally decided, oh, let’s just hang out and date. Now, fast forward, I moved to Ohio and I’m thinking, what am I doing? I mean, if you want to kill your tech career, move to Ohio because everything is so hard to get to. But I still kept my tuck career growing, but 20 years has gone by and it was like, it, I was magically placed here because had I not been here, I would’ve never started a woman’s group. I would’ve never written my first book or my second and now my third. I really feel that the universe has a plan. If it wasn’t for him or me going to Ohio or meeting him or showing up here, I do not believe this would’ve been my life path. I don’t think I would’ve ever had the time to write these books and I feel like everything was purposefully and perfectly orchestrated for me to be right here, right now. [LISA] Wow, that’s a wonderful story. I love that, like, everything was like serendipity, everything just like fell into place and you were open to open to it, observing it, looking at it, watching it, and then went for it. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Yes. So I’m incredibly grateful. On that realm, I feel like my husband and I are definitely spiritually aligned in a spiritual partnership because we have supported each other to grow in ways that I’m not sure we want to been able to do individually. That’s like on a different realm or spectrum than like the everyday living. [LISA] Yeah, that could be a whole nother podcast,. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Yes, that’s for sure. [LISA] JJ, what would you like listeners to take away from our conversation today? [JJ DIGERONIMO] Well, I guess the most important thing is that as we’re talking about your seeking, your conversations, your energy levels, is that you can alter, change, adjust, aspire, and seek new levels at any time. It is really up to you. This is your life and this is your journey and you get to create, enhance, select the experiences you want to be part of. So if you’re feeling like down or things aren’t working your way, the easiest thing to do is to start with gratitude. You probably have heard this numerous times, but I think the easiest thing that I do is I just put it on my calendar in my outlook at 7:00 AM and I have to list seven things I’m grateful for every day and I ask myself different questions in different ways. But I feel like when you’re focused on things you are grateful for, you train your brain and your mind and your behavior to look for those things. They could be very simple, like finding a penny. You could get a parking spot, you could get a phone call, I mean, those are the gratitude things that happen to us every day and when you start to condition yourself to focus on those things, I guarantee you things will start to shift in your life in ways that you can’t even imagine. [LISA] Oh, I love that message and I hear like, start 2023 with gratitude. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Whatever level of gratitude you can start with. And even running water, hot water, heat, like you had just be the most basic things. And I would say if you can like, turn the TV off, I just, one thing I have started in 2021 is I just stopped watching TV. I’ll watch some shows on Netflix or one of the other stations or whatever, but they’re very purposefully selected but I refuse to have the TV on in the background. I cannot stand the negativity and fear-based messaging all day long. Like my psyche as a high sensitive person, I can’t handle all the doom and gloom. And I’ve noticed not having the TV on, I do hear about the important points in the world that are happening, but I don’t hear of them for 36, 48 hours in a row. [LISA] Yes, I agree with that. Do you have a free gift for my listeners? [JJ DIGERONIMO] Well, sure. One of my favorite, favorite exercises that I created in 2012 is called The Power of No. The Power of No is one of the greatest things I learned when interviewing successful people for my first book of how they decide what they say yes and what they say no to. Because as women and men, but mostly women, they say yes to so many things that really shouldn’t be on their list, leaving very little time for themselves. So The Power of No includes a free chapter, a video, and a chart that you can download for free to really help you align to things that inspire and enlighten you, and even give you action strategies to get things off of your to-do list that are no longer serving you or should have never been there in the first place. [LISA] Wow, that is, wow, that’s all free. Like that is amazing. Take advantage of that. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Yes. You can download it at jjdigeronimo.com/powerofno, all one word. [LISA] That was going to be my next question. Where can listeners get in touch with you? [JJ DIGERONIMO] Yes, you can find me at most Social Platforms with JJ Digeronimo. [LISA] Great. Thank you so much JJ. Thank you for your wisdom, your knowledge, just the way that you just show up and present yourself, audio. I’m not seeing you in person or through video, so just audio, you just have a really lovely presence. Thank you for your time and your energy. [JJ DIGERONIMO] Oh, thank you, Lisa, for having this conversation. I feel like all these little conversations help, they add up and actually change the frequency of the planet, so thank you. [LISA] Thank you for listening today. Please let me know what you thought of the episode. Send me an email to lisa@amiokpodcast.com. Remember to subscribe, rate and review wherever you get your podcast. To find out more about Highly Sensitive Persons, please visit my website at amiokpodcast.com and while you’re there subscribe to my free eight-week email course to help you navigate your own sensitivities and to show you that it’s okay not to take on everyone else’s problems. This is Lisa Lewis reminding each and every one of you that you are okay. Until next time, be well. Thank you for listening today at Am I Ok? Podcast. If you are loving the show, please rate, review and subscribe to it on your favorite podcast platform. Also, if you’d like to learn how to manage situations as a highly sensitive person, discover your unique gift as a highly sensitive person, and learn how to be comfortable in your own skin, I offer a free eight-week email course called Highly Sensitive People. Just go to amiokpodcast.com to sign up. In addition, I love hearing from my listeners, drop me an email to let me know what is on your mind. You can reach me at lisa@amiokpodcast.com. 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